B

Haiku

we are sudden stars

you and i exploding in

our blue black skins

Written by Sonia Sanchez

 

Make your mark, before you make your exit. Nite all.

8

Enjoying this french vanilla coffee

I was going to clear my library, because I thought I'd outgrown my books.
And I read one, just at random. I really needed that message.
I cried like I'd never read it before, laughed at the funny parts.
So you know what...I'm going to get myself a nice bookshelf. Don't know where I'm going to put it. But I will never, ever plan to get rid of another book.
Reading is my life.

7

I don't just talk to be talking. It's a lot of mess I've forgiven people for, and every once in awhile, I wake up gritting my teeth. Sometimes I feel like seeking vegeance, sometimes I feel bad for it. Somedays, the reality of whatever happened has my knees wobbling, and I'm walking around with a box of Kleenex. Somedays, I am not above kicking someone's face in, and sometimes, I'm not below helping them out of a bind. Sometimes, it feels like the shards of my shattered heart didn't automatically piece back together just because the person apologized. There's this part of me, and that's the biggest part of me, that would never want to see them cry the way I've cried in this life. I've been through ALOT. And still, if I have many years left on this earth, got a lot more to go through. But God has been good to me. He has carried me through the whole way. I don't have the right to be unforgiving.



And y'all. I was just going through a period of internal anger as I typed this. Huge lump in my throat disappeared. This blog thing is my therapy!

6

I can't look to anyone for validation but God...then myself.


And I love it.


Back to life. Gotta fold laundry and stuff.

5

Nobody can "get you down" without your permission. Ciao.

4

Can't take...


my education
my dignity
my moral being
my God given peace
the King's English out of my speech
the consistency of my femininity
my spiritual virginity
the Trinity that lives inside of me
the fact that I'm his greatest ammenity
the blessings that flow through me
the lava hot blood running through my veins
the truth that my forefathers didn't bring me here in vain
my by-any-means necessary family protection clause
my right not to distract my kids with an imaginary Santa Claus
the position God predestined for me
my right to say no to the Easter Bunny
my desire to strictly celebrate the birth and resurrection
the fact that all these things help keep me steered in the right direction




Stand up for yourself and do it the healthy way.

3

It's night time and I love it. Lights out, listening to old music. Not completely out. I'm afraid of the dark.
With sadness, remember the days I was not afraid. The darkness invited creativity into my world.  I would lie in bed with the windows up, blinds cracked so the street light could beam in. Breeze creeping into my room. Excitement kept me awake for hours.


Especially in the springtime, with the whiporwheels (sp) whistling, crickets kind of chirping, even small frogs chiming in...building the soundtrack to my thoughts.

Is this is what I was so excited about?

Heck yeah!!!!


I didn't do it the way A&J sketched it out for me. Nope. Didn't graduate and jump the broom at 22, like A planned.  I doubt that L&F and J&W are spinning in their graves. I think they're proud of who their granddaughter is becoming because it's like this...

None of us started at the same mark...and none of us are going to reach the same finish line.


Don't let anyone's dreams for you, deter your dreams for yourself. If you didn't do it the way they planned, then HOORAY!!!! You get to be creative with YOUR blueprint. Isn't that amazing?! Go for it! And don't get depressed looking at your peers and where they are. They're probably looking at your life, wondering why they didn't do some things the way you'd done. 

Sometimes, we need to embrace those quiet moments. Some of us were bolder as youth than we are right now. In my darkest hours, I still click on that lamp that I call my imagination, and gaze into the future. I am SO excited!




Signing off.

2

Why seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which does so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us...Hebrews 12:1

1

I have dreams always that I'm on a cruise somewhere, and my old Spanish professor is the tour guide. The water is clear, a weird green, and extremely deep. Mountains surround the ocean or whatever it is, the clouds are so low and fluffy. I have no fear of the creatures lurking in the water.


 He's talking, I'm not listening, I'm watching everything...I can even look past the mountains and see a pit of thorns that everyone has to pass through to get to the water. All of these people are familiar to me. He's got his mic and he's giving info still and I jump off the ship before he can scream "No!"




Next thing I know, I'm floating on my back even though the water is deep and everything is even more grand than it was when I was on the ship. It's cool that I can do so many wild things in my dreamworld, it makes me wonder why, if any other person on this earth has dreams so profound, is there any fear of making moves in the real world?




I believe that we have the power to jump from the highest plateau (figuratively) and land on our feet if we have that confidence. Career moves especially. If you have the charisma, the knowledge, and the integrity...and you put those things to work faithfully...the possibilities of success are endless.



Pursue your dreams responsibly and with discernment.